EXC being a great wrestling company, UFC vs. Affliction, DREAM 4 recap, Dana’s announcement, and MORE!

Latest edition of Cardio Freak is up on 411. Short column due to work. What can ya do?

WWE is trying to get back their old viewers and gain new viewers by giving away one million dollars (or the sum of one million dollars) every Monday night. Vince McMahon makes no bones about it. He’s bribing you. Instead of using that one million dollars to hire better writers, he would rather give it to the fans. How sweet. As mentioned, the whole goal of this is to bring back old fans or get new fans. I don’t know how they expect to do this. Ok, I do. They want the current fan to tell their friends that they could win one million dollars by watching wrestling on Monday nights. Pass. Why would I tell my friends to watch and try to win the money when that does nothing but decrease my chances of winning the money? Unless I can get a written statement from my friends that they’ll give me 100% of the money if they win, I’m not telling them a thing. Plus if they don’t win, they’ll probably want to kill me for having them waste two hours of their Monday night life watching a crappy wrestling program.

Vince McMahon losing his mind happens once a year and it’s the grandest time in wrestling. Last year when he lost his mind, he blew himself up. When Vince loses his mind he pretty much thinks of the craziest thing he can do and then he does it on national television. It’s like a reality show but it’s a fake reality that’s real. They should actually make a reality show starring Vince McMahon. I can’t imagine what a day in the life of Vince is but I bet it’s great. If a movie was ever to be made about Vince McMahon, only Vince could play Vince. I believe that no one else in this world, except maybe Vince’s son-in-law Triple H, could pull off the role of Vince McMahon. That’s a list I need to sit down and write: People so over the top great who can only play the role of themselves but no one can play them. Vince McMahon could never be James Bond but not even the great Sean Connery could be Vince McMahon.

Hell of a tangent there. Lets get back on course.

Vince wants everyone to watch his wrestling program despite the fact that there’s just no luster in wrestling anymore. The last time non-wrestling fans actually wanted to talk wrestling with me was when Chris Benoit killed his family. Ironically enough, that was the same time Vince lost his mind last year and blew himself up on television. Wrestling isn’t what it once was and it will likely never be again. Wrestling has its moments of greatness but they’re only great to wrestling fans. When Edge won the WWE Title a few years ago, wrestling fans cares but no one else did. When Steve Austin was hot, everyone cared. WWE doesn’t have a character like Steve Austin or The Rock. They try to push John Cena as a combination of both but it obviously isn’t working.

WWE is still making money hand over fist. Outside of the television ratings, business is still very good for the company. The problem is, WWE has fallen into the trap of caring about the ratings. Ever since the Monday Night Wars where, if you won the ratings you were the better week, WWE has cared about the ratings. In reality though the ratings really don’t matter. WWE can give away one million dollars a week to get people to watch one television show but if those people who are watching don’t buy PPVs or merchandise or start enjoying wrestling, what does it really accomplish? Nothing.

WWE does care about more than just the ratings though. They made you go to WWE.com to register to win the money because traffic is down on the site and for some reason, they feel that traffic on their website is important. Again, if they’re just going to the website to register and then getting off the site, what does it really accomplish? Nothing.

I hope that Vince’s plans to give away money fails and the ratings stagnate because then he’ll lose his mind even more and that can only be a good thing.

Newest edition of Cardio Freak on 411Mania. Topics include: EXC Review, WEC Review, and UFC 85 Preview. Long read.

I also plan on updating this blog more regularly so the 0 people reading should be excited.

I wasn’t born in the 1980′s when the Bird vs. Magic and Celtics vs. Lakers rivalry was at its peak. Because of this, I go into this series with an empty mind. I know I’ll see countless highlights of the rivalry throughout the Finals and if Bill Simmons writes an article about the rivalry, I’ll read one column about the rivalry before the Finals. To me, this has nothing to do Magic vs. Bird though. This is Kobe & Company vs. The Big 3 to me.

The NBA couldn’t have planned a better Finals. Since the start of the playoffs everyone knew that the NBA wanted the revitalized Lakers vs. the revitalized Celtics, they wanted the two MVP candidates, and they wanted superstars. Last year they got LeBron James and he was gone in four games. This year they got Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett and they’ll last more than four games.

The early favorites are the Lakers and for good reason. They rolled through the Western Conference, the much tougher conference, and they have the best player in the league. The Celtics struggled with the Atlanta Hawks, LeBron James, and finally showed the team we saw all season against a banged up Pistons team. Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson know how to win, The Big 3 and Doc Rivers know how to act like they’ve won. Kobe Bryant knows how to finish games, The Big 3 know how to pass the ball and hope someone else finishes the game. All signs point to the Lakers to win this series.

The Celtics got a big boost in the Eastern Conference Finals though. They won. Not only did they win but they won two games on the road after failing to win 6 road games against Hawks and LeBron’s. Sure they beat a Pistons team who had Chauncey Billups with a bad back, Rip Hamilton with a bad arm in Game 6, and Rasheed Wallace leading the KG Fan Club but they’re still the Pistons. The talk when the Hawks took the Celtics to seven games was that, “The Celtics don’t know how to win as a team in the playoffs.” I think they learned how to win like a team in the playoffs against the Pistons. They also gained a little confidence in shutting down a premier scorer when they were able to shut down LeBron James in a few games in their series.

Can they combine the two series though? The LeBron’s are LeBron James with no supporting cast. The Pistons are a great team with no real superstar. The Lakers are a combination of the two. Kobe Bryant is a superstar and a better player all-around player than LeBron James and while the Lakers aren’t quite the Pistons as far as a team, Pau Gasol alone is a better supporting cast than the team LeBron had. The Celtics are going to have to figure out how to shut down Kobe, which looks damn near impossible as the Spurs couldn’t even do it although they knew what he was going to do step for step, and shut down the supporting cast.

The biggest match-up to watch in this series is the coaching match-up between Phil Jackson and Doc Rivers. Phil Jackson has been there and done that. He’s coached countless championship teams and he knows what works. Doc Rivers coached a great regular season and then completely changed the gameplan the second the Celtics lost Game 3 against the Hawks. How rattled is Doc Rivers going to get when his team loses the first game against the Lakers? Will he continue to kill the confidence of the young players like Rajon Rondo or will he stick to what has been working since game one of the regular season? We know what Phil Jackson is going to do. He’s going to run the triangle offense and when it’s Kobe takeover time, he’s going to allow Kobe to be Kobe.

The other match-up is the MVP match-up between Kobe and KG. KG is one of the most unselfish players in the league, especially in crunch time. Kobe has become a very unselfish player, except when it’s crunch time. Unlike in previous years, Kobe now has a team he can trust. He pretty much has the same team in previous years but he’s now decided to trust them. He also has Pau Gasol who has become the Pippen to his Jordan. KG trusts his team and has really taught his team how to be a team. Unfortunately for Celtic fans, he trusts his team too much. When it comes crunch time, KG passes the ball or takes a 15 foot jump shot even though he could easily get to the rim. If it’s a close come and the Celtics need the bucket, I say they give it to Pierce. He’s not the most clutch player on the team but outside of Cassell, I think he’s the most selfish. Someone needs to be selfish for the Celtics in the clutch because you know Kobe will be that guy for the Lakers.

I have no emotional attachment to this series or this team but for the first time since the Lakers team featuring Kobe, Shaq, Karl, and Gary; I may watch 3/4 of a NBA Final game. Watching Kobe Bryant play is a treat because most teams know what he’s going to do in the clutch but they can’t stop it. I truly believe that he is the most clutch player than Jordan and if he continues to play like this for the rest of his career, he may end up better than Jordan. The Celtics are enjoyable to watch because they truly are a team that has a superstar and they play with emotion. If nothing else it will be a fun series just because we’ll get to see stars like Brady and Gisele, Damon, and Affleck and Garner in the Boston crowd while Tobey, Cameron, and Nicholson show up in Los Angeles. Official prediction: Lakers in Six.

*I hate the Detroit Red Wings but I can’t deny their talent. As a Colorado Avalanche fan, is that allowed? Can you hate a team but put over their skill level because it’s undeniable? I need to ask a Red Sox or Yankees fan this question, preferably a Yankees fan since the Red Sox are the ones doing the winning right now. My guess is that I can hate them but respect them but I need a definitive answer.

*Is it just me or do the NBA Playoffs still suck? The media told me that the Western Conference regular season was compelling but I didn’t pay attention. I tried watching the first few rounds of the playoffs but I really didn’t care. In the end, look where we are: The Pistons and The Spurs are back in the conference finals. When those teams play, they just suck the fun out of basketball. Luckily the Lakers and Celtics seem on their way to the Finals and I’m actually interested in that. Hopefully that’s what happens because if the Spurs or Pistons are in the Finals, I probably won’t watch.

*Can we officially coin the “Spears Theory” and the “Aguilera Theory”? These were the two big pop stars of my younger years and while Britney Spears was the bigger success, it’s obvious who won the game of life in the end. Spears went crazy, married and divorced twice, has two kids who she doesn’t take care of, shaved her head, and a bunch of other stuff that I can’t recall right now. Outside of her “Dirrty” phase, Aguilera settled down with one man, had a kid, and already got her shape back. I believe the first two ladies to fall victim to these theories are Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff. Lohan got caught up with the wrong boyfriends, was in and out of rehab, and is now rumored to be a lesbian. She’ll be pregnant within 2 years. Duff went through her “I’m not going to eat” phase but other than that, she turned out pretty good. It seems like whoever has the bigger career as a youngster ends up being a total mess. I just hope Miley Cyrus can turn things around.

*This season of the Real World rules. I haven’t watched the show since Texas but this season has brought me back. Sarah is the cutest thing since Kristen Bell, Kim is pretty good looking herself and the southern accent rules, Bri is the token stripper, Dave is the token white boy, Will is the token black guy, Greg is the token prick amplified by 100, and Joey is the token crazy guy amplified by 100. You know they got a lot of footage for this season since they were able to do 13 one hour episodes instead of 20 or so 30-minute episodes. This is probably my favorite season since Las Vegas and it could be my favorite season overall when it is all said and done.

*I think I have an addiction to Spongebob Square Pants. Every time the show is on, I must watch it even though I’ve seen every episode 300 times. It’s still awesome.

*Same goes for shows like Full House, Saved By The Bell, Family Guy, and South Park.

*How come good actresses like Anne Hathaway go nude when they don’t have to while bad actresses like Jessica Alba don’t go nude when it’s almost needed to save their career?

*I watch TNA Impact. It’s pretty much the greatest two hour block of comedy on television.

*Clay Aiken impregnated a 50 year old woman. There’s about 500 jokes one could write but I choose to be the bigger man and make no joke because Clay is a fellow North Carolinian. At least we can put those gay rumors to rest.

*Nickelodeon has the best TV show themes that no one else but myself enjoys. Zoey 101, iCarly, Keenan & Kel, Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents. All great theme songs.

*Reality shows that have run their course are no buys. The Ultimate Fighter, Last Comic Standing, Survivor, American Idol, ect… have no value to me anymore. Producers try to spice up the shows by adding new twists and whatnot but it does nothing. Someone needs to pull the plug on these shows and force producers to come up with something new. My idea is a reality show featuring pimping. I haven’t quite figured it all out just yet but when I do, it will be the greatest show ever.

*Dana White and Vince McMahon have the same DNA.

*Ludacris is so hood that he really should have been on the original version.

*I don’t like reading other MMA articles because I always want to seem original. Readers don’t know that but as long as I know that my opinion isn’t the same opinion of another and that all my thoughts are original then I’m happy.

*Rachelle Leah, Ali Sonoma, Arianny Celeste, Edith Lebelle. Those are the UFC ring girls in order of hotness. Think about that.

*Why do celebrities continue to date each other? It seems like every A-List celeb couple lasts a few years and then break up. The best celeb relationships are celebrities who date relative nobodies or celebrities who date celebrities on a different Hollywood level.

*I have a PS3 and a big screen TV but no Blu-Ray DVDs. Kind of sad.

*After watching the Taco Bell commercial where the guy raps his order, I wonder how many people actually go to Taco Bell and try and recreate the commercial. My guess is that plenty of people have tried it and it probably gets no sold.

*Meet The Spartans comes out on DVD Tuesday. I tried watch that movie and never finished it. Why do studios feel the need to continue to do spoof movies when pretty much every one of them have sucked since the first few Scary Movies? Sadly, more are being released in the coming years and even more sad is the fact that they’ll continue to do well at the box office because American’s are dumb.

*Almost worse than parody movies that have run their course are sequels that have no business being made. Harold and Kumar, Legally Blonde, Charlie’s Angels, and countless other have gotten sequels when they weren’t needed other than studios knew they would make money.

There, I hit my 1,000 word quota so I’m happy.

Latest edition of Cardio Freak MMA News on 411Mania.com. Huge column with a review of UFC 84: Ill Will and a preview of EliteXC on CBS and Jens Pulver vs. Urijah Faber.

The pressure in this series is all on a Kid named Sid. From the moment he broke into the NHL he was dubbed “The Next Gretzky”. He finally reached the playoffs last season with the Penguins but his adventure was short as the team lost in five games to the eventual Conference Champion Ottawa Senators. Having to learn how to win by losing, the Penguins finished this season in 2nd place in the East and made a huge trade deadline acquisition in Marian Hossa, showing the commitment to win now. Along with Hossa, Crosby is flanked with young superstars like Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Marc-Andre Fluery, and Ryan Malone and veterans like Petr Sykora, Gary Roberts, and Sergi Gonchar. None of those players seem to matter though. The NHL has pushed Sidney Crosby as the face of the league since his rookie year. He, along with Alex Ovechkin, were supposed to bring the league back to prosperity. So far that hasn’t happened. Ratings and attendance has been steadily increasing season by season since the lockout but it’s still well below what it once was. Crosby and Ovechkin had a chance to help the league together but Ovechkin’s Capitals were unable to defeat the Philadelphia Flyers in the first round of this years playoffs. The cards didn’t fall the leagues way in that situation but Crosby has now kept the leagues hope alive.

Crosby is a lot like LeBron James, the NBA savior. He broke in the league with high expectations and although he met him in his rookie year, his bid for the Calder Trophy (Rookie of the Year) was stopped by Ovechkin, much like James’ bid was stopped by Carmelo Anthony. The first year James made the playoffs, his team lost to the eventual Conference champions. The following year, his team made the finals and saved the league from the equivalent of NHL’s coastal battle but instead of “two teams that aren’t hockey cities” the NBA’s battle consisted of “two teams that play boring basketball”. James’ team was swept by the more experienced San Antonio Spurs, Crosby’s fate is still undecided.

Sidney Crosby may be the greatest player since Wayne Gretzky. His combination of skill and smarts captivated crowds and cities. Gretzky was able to take a suffering league, put it on his back, and carry it to what you saw before the lock out. Crosby certainly has the marketing behind him to do that but can he deliver on the NHL’s grandest stage? The Penguins don’t have to win this series for it to be considered a success for the NHL. Sidney Crosby just has to deliver.