The Rantings Vol. 1

These are the rantings. They’re thoughts that are too short to make a column out of but important enough to get off my mind. YEAH~!

*I hate the Detroit Red Wings but I can’t deny their talent. As a Colorado Avalanche fan, is that allowed? Can you hate a team but put over their skill level because it’s undeniable? I need to ask a Red Sox or Yankees fan this question, preferably a Yankees fan since the Red Sox are the ones doing the winning right now. My guess is that I can hate them but respect them but I need a definitive answer.

*Is it just me or do the NBA Playoffs still suck? The media told me that the Western Conference regular season was compelling but I didn’t pay attention. I tried watching the first few rounds of the playoffs but I really didn’t care. In the end, look where we are: The Pistons and The Spurs are back in the conference finals. When those teams play, they just suck the fun out of basketball. Luckily the Lakers and Celtics seem on their way to the Finals and I’m actually interested in that. Hopefully that’s what happens because if the Spurs or Pistons are in the Finals, I probably won’t watch.

*Can we officially coin the “Spears Theory” and the “Aguilera Theory”? These were the two big pop stars of my younger years and while Britney Spears was the bigger success, it’s obvious who won the game of life in the end. Spears went crazy, married and divorced twice, has two kids who she doesn’t take care of, shaved her head, and a bunch of other stuff that I can’t recall right now. Outside of her “Dirrty” phase, Aguilera settled down with one man, had a kid, and already got her shape back. I believe the first two ladies to fall victim to these theories are Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff. Lohan got caught up with the wrong boyfriends, was in and out of rehab, and is now rumored to be a lesbian. She’ll be pregnant within 2 years. Duff went through her “I’m not going to eat” phase but other than that, she turned out pretty good. It seems like whoever has the bigger career as a youngster ends up being a total mess. I just hope Miley Cyrus can turn things around.

*This season of the Real World rules. I haven’t watched the show since Texas but this season has brought me back. Sarah is the cutest thing since Kristen Bell, Kim is pretty good looking herself and the southern accent rules, Bri is the token stripper, Dave is the token white boy, Will is the token black guy, Greg is the token prick amplified by 100, and Joey is the token crazy guy amplified by 100. You know they got a lot of footage for this season since they were able to do 13 one hour episodes instead of 20 or so 30-minute episodes. This is probably my favorite season since Las Vegas and it could be my favorite season overall when it is all said and done.

*I think I have an addiction to Spongebob Square Pants. Every time the show is on, I must watch it even though I’ve seen every episode 300 times. It’s still awesome.

*Same goes for shows like Full House, Saved By The Bell, Family Guy, and South Park.

*How come good actresses like Anne Hathaway go nude when they don’t have to while bad actresses like Jessica Alba don’t go nude when it’s almost needed to save their career?

*I watch TNA Impact. It’s pretty much the greatest two hour block of comedy on television.

*Clay Aiken impregnated a 50 year old woman. There’s about 500 jokes one could write but I choose to be the bigger man and make no joke because Clay is a fellow North Carolinian. At least we can put those gay rumors to rest.

*Nickelodeon has the best TV show themes that no one else but myself enjoys. Zoey 101, iCarly, Keenan & Kel, Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents. All great theme songs.

*Reality shows that have run their course are no buys. The Ultimate Fighter, Last Comic Standing, Survivor, American Idol, ect… have no value to me anymore. Producers try to spice up the shows by adding new twists and whatnot but it does nothing. Someone needs to pull the plug on these shows and force producers to come up with something new. My idea is a reality show featuring pimping. I haven’t quite figured it all out just yet but when I do, it will be the greatest show ever.

*Dana White and Vince McMahon have the same DNA.

*Ludacris is so hood that he really should have been on the original version.

*I don’t like reading other MMA articles because I always want to seem original. Readers don’t know that but as long as I know that my opinion isn’t the same opinion of another and that all my thoughts are original then I’m happy.

*Rachelle Leah, Ali Sonoma, Arianny Celeste, Edith Lebelle. Those are the UFC ring girls in order of hotness. Think about that.

*Why do celebrities continue to date each other? It seems like every A-List celeb couple lasts a few years and then break up. The best celeb relationships are celebrities who date relative nobodies or celebrities who date celebrities on a different Hollywood level.

*I have a PS3 and a big screen TV but no Blu-Ray DVDs. Kind of sad.

*After watching the Taco Bell commercial where the guy raps his order, I wonder how many people actually go to Taco Bell and try and recreate the commercial. My guess is that plenty of people have tried it and it probably gets no sold.

*Meet The Spartans comes out on DVD Tuesday. I tried watch that movie and never finished it. Why do studios feel the need to continue to do spoof movies when pretty much every one of them have sucked since the first few Scary Movies? Sadly, more are being released in the coming years and even more sad is the fact that they’ll continue to do well at the box office because American’s are dumb.

*Almost worse than parody movies that have run their course are sequels that have no business being made. Harold and Kumar, Legally Blonde, Charlie’s Angels, and countless other have gotten sequels when they weren’t needed other than studios knew they would make money.

There, I hit my 1,000 word quota so I’m happy.